In one of the dwindling number of proper pubs remaining in Cheshire:
The barmaid mentions that they now have John Smiths on. So one drinker, a few minutes later, says, “Pint of John Smith’s, please.” The barmaid says “It’s on cask, you know.” So he replies, “Hmm, I’ll have Tetley’s, then” – the Tetley’s being smooth.
Guy leaving the pub, dressed in motorcycle leathers and carrying a helmet. Barmaid asks “Do you have a bike, then?” He replies, “No, I just walk around like this for fun.”