Putting me out of a job?

X/Twitter have recently improved the functionality of their Grok AI application, in particular enhancing its ability to produce images. The image below is of a grumpy old man reading the newspaper in a pub. It may not look all that much like me, but it does catch the spirit.

On a more serious note, it will readily produce articles on various topics, and you can ask it to write them in the style of particular authors. So below is its attempt to write a piece on Why Painting Pubs Grey is a Bad Idea, in the style of the Pub Curmudgeon. This is reproduced verbatim.

---

The Grey Menace: Why Painting Pubs Grey is a Misguided Trend

In the ever-evolving landscape of pub decor, a new trend has emerged that threatens to drain the very soul from our beloved establishments: painting them grey. Now, I've seen many a fashion come and go in the pub world, from the ghastly '80s neon to the pretentious '90s gastropub chic, but this grey wave might just be the most soulless yet.

The Aesthetic Argument

Firstly, let's talk aesthetics. Pubs are not just buildings; they're sanctuaries of character, history, and warmth. Grey, as a colour, does nothing but chill the atmosphere. It's the colour of a cloudy day, of office cubicles, of the mundane. When you step into a pub, you're not looking for the ambiance of a corporate meeting room or the sterile environment of a modern art gallery. You're seeking warmth, perhaps the glow of wood, the comfort of reds, greens, or even the occasional daring blue. Grey? It's the colour of indecision, of neutrality, and it does nothing to invite the soul to linger.

The Psychological Impact

Psychologically, grey is often associated with depression, boredom, and a lack of creativity. Now, imagine walking into your local for a pint, only to be greeted by walls that might as well be saying, "Feel as dull as I look." Pubs are where stories are told, where laughter should bounce off the walls, not be absorbed into them. Grey walls might as well be soundproofing against joy.

The Historical Disconnect

Pubs, especially in Britain, are steeped in history. They're not just places to drink; they're community hubs, historical landmarks, and repositories of local culture. Painting them grey is akin to stripping them of their heritage, their stories, and their personality. It's like putting a Victorian-era pub into a modern art gallery frame – it's out of place, out of time, and out of character.

The Practicality of Colour

From a practical standpoint, grey might seem like a safe choice, but it's anything but. Grey shows dirt more than you might think, and in a pub, where life happens, where spills and smudges are part of the charm, grey will soon look more like a dirty dishwater than a sophisticated choice. Moreover, if you're looking for a timeless look, grey might seem neutral now, but in a decade, it'll scream '2020s' just as loudly as any other trend.

The Economic Angle

Let's not forget the economic implications. Pubs are businesses, and atmosphere is part of the product. A grey pub might appeal to the fleeting trend of minimalism, but it won't hold the charm that brings in regulars. Regulars are the lifeblood of any pub, and if your local starts looking like every other grey-walled, soulless space, why would they return? The cost of repainting when the trend dies out? That's not just paint; that's lost character, lost customers, lost revenue.

Conclusion

So, to all pub landlords, designers, and anyone with a say in pub decor, think twice before you reach for that grey paint. You're not just choosing a colour; you're choosing the mood, the memory, and the very essence of what a pub should be. Let's keep our pubs vibrant, alive, and anything but grey. After all, in a world where everything seems to be turning grey, the pub should be the last bastion of colour, warmth, and life. Here's to keeping our pubs as colourful as the stories told within them. Cheers to that!

---

It’s not quite there, but it’s not far off, and you could certainly take some of the points and phrases to use in your own piece. It isn’t going to put me out of a job, though. But it does reinforce the point that if you want to write convincing, authentic opinion pieces it helps if you refer to specific examples and personal experiences rather than just dealing in generalities. And rest assured I’m not going to start regurgitating a series of pieces written by Grok.

I’ve also been playing with the image generator on some pub-related topics. While it can produce some high-quality images on general themes, it can make some rather odd mistakes on specifics. For example, it seems to produce images of pubs without any kind of pub sign. The image below is “traditional English country pub”. An attractive building, redolent of Kent or Sussex, but with nothing whatsoever to indicate that it is a pub.

It also seems to have an odd tendency to place pub customers on the staff side of the bar between the counter and the bar back. Another quirk is that it always seems to show pub landlords and landladies wearing an apron or dungarees, which presumably is an American thing. The images below are of a jovial landlady and a grumpy landlord.

It needs to be remembered that what it is doing is producing a mashup of existing online images relating to the keywords you have specified; it isn’t working from first principles. But one thing it is good at is producing images of cats, possibly helped by the fact that about 50% of all images on the Internet are of cats. This is “attractive young cat lying on the bar of a pub.” All together now: “Awww!”