Sunday 6 April 2014

Chuck out your chintz

The latest bizarre interior design feature to appear in pubs is the proliferation of scatter cushions. They’ve appeared in a number of Robinson’s recent refurbishments, and they’ve even cropped up in Wetherspoon’s. And, not content with colonising the lounge side, they’ve even started spreading to the vault!

The idea, I suppose, is to make pub interiors seem more female-friendly by introducing a cosy, homely, design element. But in practice nobody ever derives any comfort from them, and they just end up being chucked on the floor to free up more seating space. Surely it is appropriate for the “public” side to have an understated, functional, even austere design ethos of a somewhat masculine character rather than being bedecked with fancy fripperies.

And isn’t it somewhat patronising to women to imagine that they will be tempted into pubs by the introduction of fussy, chintzy soft furnishings that serve no practical purpose?


  1. No great surprise,pretty cushions
    popping up in the Licensed Cafes
    pretending to be Pubs,no doubt of some appeal to the remaining arseholes who still frequent such
    pretentious Taverns.
    Be honest ,even if Prohibition came,the same demimen (and women)would seen be perched on the cushions sipping cloudy lemom and applauding the demise of freedom.

    St Crispin's Lot

  2. @Anonymous, Christ I'm fed up with your half-arsed rants. If you don't use pubs any more, fine. Just don't bother posting on a pub blog. I'm sure there are other blogs about embroidery or something that might be of interest.
    @Mudgie, you are damn right about cushions. I can tolerate them in country cottage style pubs (which I visit rarely) Otherwise they are a complete waste of space.

  3. Oh, I think the blog would be worse off without Anon's contributions. Long may he continue...

  4. Bollocks. At my local Robbies, I'll content myself by standing against the hard and ancient ceramic bar.

  5. The GBG should have a symbol for scatter cushions then us discerning tasteful modern people can seek out stylish places to get pissed and all the rough sorts can go booze down the spit and sawdust piss smelling gaffs.

    Scatter cushions : nice middle class people that are unlikely to knife you.

    No scatter cushions : rough arsed gaff where you can buy knock off gear and might occasionally get knifed.

  6. Cushions are one of the significant areas of gender difference. It's usually women who put them on the furniture and even use them but men who chuck them on the floor because they are uncomfortable and in the way.

  7. The final pub will shut its door.
    No one ever visits no more.
    Since the cancerous cadavers gave up on it.
    It’s left to rot, a decaying flea pit.
    Anon wails, anon moans about smoking in the rain.
    No one cares for the smelly buggars pain.
    The ale turns to vinegar in the cask.
    No one visits the bar to ask.
    The final bell toils, a last ever order.
    Only Mudgie laments the crumbling mortar.

  8. "Since the cancerous cadavers gave up on it."
    Well actually it would seem the 200,000 new smokers that turn up every year are not even going to pubs in the first place. And I can't say I blame them. When I was a teenager, if pubs had just been full of middle aged people eating food I doubt if I would have wanted to go to them either. I used to think that the smoking ban would take about ten years to do it's damage but I forgot about the new generations needed to replace the older customers.
    Thinking about it , even if I was a non-smoker at 18 I still don't think I would want to go to pubs that are just full of old people feeding.

  9. Cushions! Fantastic news for all martyrs to the Chalfonts.

  10. Bill - while I agree that Anon can sometimes come across as being as mad as a box of frogs, I also treasure his contributions here. Like Mudgie says, I think this blog would be the worse without him.

  11. Dear Bill and t'others
    I groan and moan on many sites(except embroidery) only because I
    believe in the freedom which I allow others to express to be extended to myself.
    I remember behind the Iron Curtain(DDR)being warned to keep my views to myself,I was hoping liberty had followed me back to England,maybe not.

    ANON in a room with a view,cheers

  12. Scatter cushions and the "yummy mummy" brigade; no thanks!

    ps. Cookie's poem made me smile.

  13. Anon - well said. Keep the comments coming.

  14. Anon is worth his own spin off blog, so we can enjoy full episodes of insanity and not have to wait for a Mudgie post. How about it, anon?

  15. @Cookie: Bloody good idea. Is he up for it?

  16. My father didn't fight in THE war for the right of people to ruin pubs by indiscriminate use of scatter cushions. Remember, we are the Bulldog breed. Women in the snug, smokers everywhere but decidedly no scatter cushions.

  17. Here's a link to a photo of the scatter cushions in the Sam Smiths Boar's Head pub in Stockport (Mudgies Town) taken 12/4/14. I also confirm that ten minutes later the seat was occupied by a small group of hipsters, who read the craft beer menu before ordering the cheapest old brewery bitter.

    The old brewery was drinking well that day.


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