Friday, 10 January 2025

Let me entertain you

On Christmas Eve, I walked to my local pub at lunchtime for a couple of pints. It wasn’t packed, but there was a decent scattering of people in. It was, as they say “nicely ticking over”. But something that struck me was that, in the rear lounge, there were a couple of giant TV screens showing the darts, with the sound turned up. Nobody was watching, and everyone was just trying to ignore it and get on with their conversation.

Unwatched, intrusive screens are a common problem in pubs, and this is one of the reasons why I don’t go to this pub anywhere near as often as I used to. However, it underlined a wider issue, that those who operate pubs seem to believe that their customers need to be entertained or participating in some kind of experience at all times. It could be eating a meal, watching TV sport, listening to live or recorded music, playing pub sports or board games, or engaging in quizzes. But if they’re not actually doing something, why are they there?

I recently spotted a particularly egregious example of this when the Morning Advertiser reported on how chef and TV personality Clodagh McKenna saw tablescaping as a way of enhancing the customer experience in pubs:

It’s a brilliant, fun way to creatively change the atmosphere of a room. Using glassware, flowers, candles, centrepieces or other objects, you can be as elaborate or simple as you desire. People want a memorable experience more than ever before, and pubs can add lots and lots of simple accessories to enhance the space to drive customers back to their outlet again and again.
Pardon me while I reach for the sick bag. This prompted me to respond on X/Twitter with “No! I just want a decent pint and a comfortable seat”, which so far has attracted over 60 likes, so it obviously struck a chord with a lot of people. It reminded me of a particularly pretentious refurbishment that Robinson’s carried of at the Bull’s Head in Hale Barns a few years, which involved, amongst other things, replacing tables with reused steamer trunks. “This is a pub full of theatre and intrigue,” the description went. That is really the last thing I want in a pub. This has, in fact, since been somewhat toned down.

A similar note was struck by this tweet about one pubgoer’s experiences in Birmingham city centre. (While that is from a locked account, I obtained his permission to reproduce it).

All these other activities have a place in pubs, but I have always thought what they’re fundamentally about is providing a welcoming, non-judgmental “third space” where you can escape, if only for a while, from the demands and constraints of the home or the workplace. A pub should be a kind of refuge from the outside world, where you need to do no more than chew the fat with your companions or just contemplate the world going by.

Sadly, this is a fundamental truth that so many people who design and operate pubs seem to have forgotten. And it has to be said that the oft-maligned Sam Smith’s pubs, where they can manage to stay open and build up a loyal clientele, do manage to achieve that more reliably than any others.

24 comments:

  1. Professor Pie-Tin10 January 2025 at 14:21

    Agreed 100% old sport. It's the music that gets me. It's omnipresent in life so I really don't need the barman's favourite rap music when I'm supping a point. It reminds me of a recent trip to Fort Lauderdale where the hotel we stayed in had it everywhere,including speakers all over the grounds. Came back pissed that evening and ripped the wires out of 12 speakers around the pool and garden. It was peaceful sunbathing for a few hours the next day. Cranky Fucker 1 Marriott 0. Give me a lunchtime pint listening to Test Match Special on the wireless any day.

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    1. A big problem has long been bar staff playing music to suit them, rather than the customers. But the rise of TV sport often now seems to crowd out the music.

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    2. My local puts on classics from the 20th century.
      Oscar

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  2. Sounds like complete and utter b*ll*cks to me. Why this constant quest for "memorable" experiences, whilst missing what is actually happening, in the moment? It's as if people like McKenna are unable to accept things at face value, and what is happening in the here and now.

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  3. I'm a rock music fan, mainly 1960s / 1970s, and there used to be a pub in every town that played this music at blistering volume. It was usually from a jukebox and therefore was of the drinkers' choosing. You couldn't hear yourself speak but this kind of pub was a big attraction to many. Then there were pubs that featured live groups.

    But those pubs a world away form what Mudgie is talking about; loud unescapeable sport, inside and outside a pub, is horrible, and I wouldn't go back to such a place. There are some pubs that play continuous music video channels - this is OK if only in one room and not too loud. And not rap!

    Do pubs still have jukeboxes? I haven't noticed them recently in pubs, or maybe I've lost interest and stopped looking for them, with the decline in the quality of pop music. Often, the first thing I did when entering a pub, before buying a drink, was to put a couple of records on the juke box.

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    1. I've seen the occasional jukebox in recent years, but not in any pubs I regularly visit. The Lion on Moorfields in Liverpool had a free one in 2019.

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    2. I guess streaming services have done away with the attraction if a jukebox for many. I'd never dream of subjecting others to my musical taste!

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  4. My local has the TV on with the sound turened off and the subtitles turned on
    Seems a reasonable compromise

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    1. No problem with that, but presumably they don't have Sky Sports.

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  5. In my local there is no music, just two rooms, one with a TV and people watch game shows on it in the afternoons which in itself is demented. One cask ale which is not always on. 30 minute walk there and back on a railway path. In the summer I sit outside and count how many Vauxhalls drive past or how many buckskin horses trot past.

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  6. My local has the popular sports on at the back when they are on at a low enough volume, background music that is mid to late 20th century popular classics at a low volume. The result is a great conversational pub with a great ale selection including a superb ruby sweet ale. No food or live music only classic snacks.

    The back is where a lot of the regulars drink.
    Oscar

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  7. It all started about forty years ago with Whitbread thinking use of their pubs should be "a leisure experience".

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  8. Your readership is by and large regular pub goers. Funnily enough they like what pubs currently offer.

    Pub companies employ marketing graduates who set about trying to appeal to people that don't regularly come into pubs. So new concepts are tested. Most fail and the costs ultimately fall on you regular drinkers.

    Over the longer term success seems to come to those, like Tim Martin, that simply understand what people want by asking themselves what they themselves want. Most of Tim's successful innovation away from traditional pubs came from his use of Mcdonalds when his kids were young, and figured his pubs should offer breakfasts and meals at prices that attracted family groups. A bugbear for traditional pub users but a key part of a high turnover, low margin model.

    Whilst there are fewer pubs than ever before, there is greater variety of pub types as ever. It's difficult to sympathise with the idea you can't find something out there that is your cup of tea. And if you really can't, the approach is to put your money where your mouth is and go test that concept,

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    1. Pubs never used to need themes, they were just pubs. And pub companies' attempts to impose themes on pubs seem to be on a par with throwing shit at a wall and seeing how much of it sticks. In a sense Spoons are the antidote to the "experience pub".

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    2. The Black Friar became a friarian theme pub 120 years ago and has been successful as such ever since. John Betjeman wouldn't have saved any ordinary London pub from demolition. Maybe that's the exception that proves Pubs Never Need Themes.

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    3. But it didn't have a chorus of friar singing Gregorian chants at earsplitting volume.

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    4. Oh, and there's also a pub built during 1803 and 1804 on the theme of a Swiss chalet and originally named the Swiss Tavern. It was so successful after becoming the Swiss Cottage that the surrounding district was named after it as was an Underground station opened in 1939.

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    5. Yes, on the west wall of the "grotto" at the back of the pub in electro-gilt letters by the Birmingham Guild are the words "Silence is Golden" ( also ‘‘Wisdom is rare" and "Seize occasion" ) which was probably to discourage singing, swearing and the other unnecessary noises that we love to avoid in Humphrey's pubs.

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    6. Professor Pie-Tin13 January 2025 at 12:44

      " But it didn't have a chorus of friar singing Gregorian chants at earsplitting volume."
      For that you need to go to Burp Castle in New York.
      Gregorian chants played loudly and you got told the shush if you talked too loudly.
      One of the weirdest bars I've ever been in but I enjoyed it.

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  9. You cannot blame a pub for trying to earn a living. I guess with the current popularity of darts they are trying something new. Potential pub customers are varied both in age, social class, and outlook. As the British pub should be. As I see it the problem is the manager has just switched the TV on at a certain volume and left it. If it were me, I would keep the volume low/muted meaning the screen was there for anyone to avail themselves to it. Put on some nibbles, get a marketing list going and advertise every time Luke Littler is on. Pubs pay large subs to Sky so only seems sensible to use it to a wider audience.

    The British pub constantly adapts and so it should. The new fresh blood needs to come from somewhere and the young should be encouraged. Their requirements may be different to the more traditional customers.

    Only yesterday I saw a feature on the BBC. Many Millennials and Gen Z now have cuddly toys as friends. Would these pubs be ready for a client coming in with 5ft goose and a squishmallow? I doubt it. The only thing cuddly I ever took in a pub was Fritz, my six stone German Shepherd. Does not mean it is wrong. Worlds changing and pubs are as well.

    I believe the children are our future
    Teach them well and let them lead the way
    Show them all the beauty they possess inside
    Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
    Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

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    1. Simon Everitt regularly takes plush fruit and vegetables into pubs and his presence is tolerated.

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    2. Bit of a deviant, that lad.

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    3. To be fair it comes off as him having a laugh.
      Oscar

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  10. I too have reduced my pub visits, and a lot of that is due to a couple of locals having constant entertainment that doesn't suit me. Loud music I hate, loud sport, karaoke. It seems popular with some people, and presumably since more and more of the remaining pubs seem to do it, it must work?

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