Food for thought

Food critic Jay Rayner (son of agony aunt Claire) has written a column in the monthly Observer Food Magazine for the past fifteen years. This has now come to an end, but to sign off he has given us a list of trenchant opinions about the food and restaurant industry, many of which will strike a chord with blog readers. Do read the whole thing – it isn’t paywalled – but here are some of the highlights:

• Individual foods are not pharmaceuticals; just eat a balanced diet. There is nothing you can eat or drink that will detoxify you; that’s what your liver and kidneys are for.

• People have morals but food doesn’t, so don’t describe dishes as “dirty”.

• Fat is where the flavour is and salt is the difference between eating in black and white and eating in Technicolor, even if your cardiologist would disagree.

• Brown foods and messy foods are the best foods, and picnics are a nightmare.

• Most dishes can be improved with the addition of bacon.

• All new restaurants should employ someone over 50 to check whether the print on the menu is big enough to be read, the lighting bright enough for it to be read by and the seats comfortable enough for a lengthy meal.

• If a waiter has to explain the “concept” behind a menu there is something wrong with the menu.

• The kind of wines that natural-wine fans adore smell of uncleaned pig’s bottom and are horrible.

• And food should always, always, be served on plates. Not on slates. Not on garden trowels. Not on planks. On plates.

It might be interesting if someone could come up with something similar about the world of beer and pubs…