Sunday, 29 June 2014

Stocking filler

Over the years I’ve met a number of people who buy themselves a lot of exotic bottled beers and end up with more than they can drink. Some have even held informal parties to drink up their stock. It’s not something I’ve ever really done myself, except maybe laying in a few special beers for Christmas and New Year – I tend to just buy what I intend to consume in the next week or so. No doubt Cooking Lager would say “Mudgie’s such an alkie that any grog in his gaff is going to get necked – it won’t hang around.”

There have recently been a series of posts on the Beer Compurgation blog, such as this one, where the author says:

“The downfall of being a great beer lover and enthusiast is a tendency to hoard. Nobody I know is as guilty of this as I. As such, I've come to realise in recent months that I really need to start working through my already sizeable bottle stock before purchasing anything else this year, if for no other reason than to try the beers I’ve spent my money on whilst they’re still at their best. Added to this is the realisation over the last few months – based on certain depressive life situations – that life is too short not to drink the great beers I have available to me. I also need to find new encouragement and inspiration to write again. I have never wanted this to be a beer review blog (with the exception of Advent) but all the above factors have led me to begin a series of “Stock Clearance” posts where I drink beers within my hoard that really need drinking for reasons that will be explained.”
So this prompted me to run a poll to see just how common beer hoarding was. The results show that, while a majority of respondents only bought what they planned to drink, quite a few did allow stocks to build up, with 12% ending up in the category of ending up with more than they could drink.


  1. Maybe it takes one to know one. Can't imagine grog lasts long unopened in your household, though.

  2. On a more constructive note isn't hoarding part of the same psychological condition that prompts beer ticking, train spotting, collecting stamps/coins/beer mats & other tat?

    Do people that hoard beer, hoard other things? Are they the type that have 3 broken lawn mowers in the shed because they can't throw things away?

  3. It probably is, but there's a kind of inbuilt tension as the clock is ticking before the beer goes off.

  4. Do they keep the empty bottles as souvenirs?

    I went on a brewery tour of Schneider Weisse in Kelheim a number of years ago. One half of a Lesbian Austrian couple collected bottle caps but was too embarrassed to ask. I mentioned it to the waiter and he returned with a full collection of unused ones (not bent by opening a bottle) and gave them to me. I passed them along and for a short time became her favourite person in the whole world.

    Odd people, collectors. Not Austrians or lesbians you understand. Nothing odd about them. Just collectors.

  5. In slightly different circumstances you could have been in there, Cookie :p

  6. Theres a chap comes to BSF every year and gets the bottle caps tipped into a special sack, comes two or three times a day, nice fella but a little single minded.

    I'm one of those guilty of buying more than I can drink - with online purchasing being my modus operandi it pays to get a full 24 slot box filled. It tends to be the big format high ABV bottles that accumulate. I'm happy to share my spoils however and sharing beer with friends is preferable to drinking it alone anyway. Had one such beery session yesterday in Dublin - great fun.

  7. My only example of this is my 22 bottles of 2013 Duvel Tripel Hop I'm keeping hold of to sell to Crafties at an inflated price one day.

  8. That's more speculative behaviour caused by irrational exuberance, Mark.

    Due to low interest rates and the cheap price of money you are prompted to engage in speculation rather than investment. Hence you make no calculation of the fundamental value of the Duvel, you engage in greater fool theory believing the market price will only go one way and rise.

    Still, if it all goes pear shaped you will have something to neck to drown your sorrows.

  9. Professor Pie-Tin30 June 2014 at 14:44

    @ Cookie
    These Austrian lesbians - I presume they weren't very adept at blowing the Alpine horn ?

  10. I live a boring life, Prof. I didn't sleep with the austrian lesbians nor at any point did I shit myself. I did get pissed and slightly lost getting back to the bus stop and was helpfully directed by a pretty german school teacher taking some kids on an outing that understood my mispronounced attempts to ask which bus went to the train station. I didn't sleep with her either. That evening I talked to my lady friend on the phone, had a wank, shower and change of shirt, then went out dancing with some german nurses and a transvestite that looked like conchitta wurst. Not sleeping with any of them, nor shitting myself. The night ended with a double cheesburger from the all night Maccys on Tal Strasse.

    I kept no notes regarding the differing beers I drank but I remember rather liking an erdbeere mojito.

  11. Professor Pie-Tin30 June 2014 at 16:15

    Jaysus Cookie, I followed through once in decades of binge drinking and now you won't let me forget it.
    Anyway,back to the Austrian lesbians,who was Wilhelm and who was Wilhelmina ?

  12. @Prof The collector was the more feminine of the pair and as far as I tell neither shat themselves in my presence.

  13. You know, there's no other blog where you can get repartée like this.

    Here in Peru there isn't much choice of beer, alas, but it is all good.

    Oh, and just for the record I sympathise with the Prof. having inadvertantly followed through on a 600 mile bus journey - won't go into details though...

  14. Professor Pie-Tin1 July 2014 at 07:34

    @Peter S.
    Happens to the best of us at some stage but I do hope the unfortunate incident occurred nearer the end rather than the beginning of the 600 mile journey.
    Wahaay !

  15. @Peter S It's the scatalogical anecdotes of the Prof that keeps us all coming back. It certainly ain't the repetitive tosh of Mudge. If he had a blog I'd read it. Skinfuls he's necked, lasses he's tupped, alleyways he's discarded his soiled underwear. It's the story of a life lived.

  16. Professor Pie-Tin1 July 2014 at 11:05

    Repetitive ? Isn't that why you gave up your own blog ?

  17. Eye, Prof, that's knowing when the game is up.

  18. Professor Pie-Tin1 July 2014 at 12:42

    @ Cookie.
    You're damn right there bro.
    Anyhows, news from the 'Spoons invastion of Ireland - they've given Diageo the bird and open their first gaff in Dublin this weekend with some seriously cheap drink and food prices for the capital.
    This could be a game-changer.

  19. Professor Pie-Tin1 July 2014 at 12:44

    Fight !

  20. I went on a lads weekend to Dublin a few years back, Prof. I drank nothing but Guinness morning, noon & night for 3 days. My poo turned jet black. Like coal. Any scatalogical Guinness related tales, observations, anecdotes, Prof?

  21. Have to say when I went to Ireland and drank considerably more Guinness than normal, the after-effects were not pleasant (although not involving following through).

    So I've learned my lesson now.

  22. Professor Pie-Tin1 July 2014 at 14:00

    Jaysus,Cookie lad,make your mind up.
    One minute you're poopoing the idea of botty banter and the next minute you're demanding more lairy tales of Bisto in the gusset.
    Stick to your lout schtick old cock.
    @ Mudgie.
    Unfortunately if you're a non-lager person there really isn't much else to drink except stout in most of Ireland.
    I drink Murphys or Beamish as I find it less harsh on the innards than Arthur but anything less than a well-kept pint and the consequences aren't great.
    I tend to think of it as a poor man's colonic irrigation.

    ( Enough shit talk now - Ed )


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