The fallow period between Christmas and New Year inevitably gives rise to various diversions, one of which is the making of lists. One of these that cropped up on Twitter this week was listing five things that annoyed you beyond all reason. I couldn’t avoid the temptation to answer specifically for pubs, and indeed eventually stretched it to fifteen.
Specifically for pubs:
— Pub Curmudgeon 🍻 (@oldmudgie) December 30, 2019
- Scatter cushions
- Loud music played for staff benefit
- Menu prices given as just "14"
- "Card payments only"
- Posing tables https://t.co/xiDIEn5JUp
These were a couple of other good ones:And five more for good measure:
— Pub Curmudgeon 🍻 (@oldmudgie) December 31, 2019
- “Full menu inside”
- Only toilet is a single WC
- Radio volume set so it’s just too quiet to hear the words (and no I’m not going deaf)
- Memorabilia bought by the yard with no local connection
- Pass-agg notices about what you can’t do
But, of course, not wanting to be entirely negative, I have in the past come up with a list of ten things I’d like to see in a good pub. Pub cat and Bass of course feature.- murky beers
— No Such User (@0x525) December 30, 2019
- stout with things added
- pale ales that taste of grapefruit
- twatty artwork on cans of beer that all looks like a child's colouring book
- Clarissa Mole and other virtue signalling beer "influencers"
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Food served on slate plates. Chips served in miniature wire baskets.
ReplyDeleteKaraoke.
ReplyDeleteChildren running about (particularly common in The Imperial, Exeter).
Foul mouthed customers.
Reserved tables which are empty when you arrive and still empty when you leave.
Don't sweat it, there'll be fewer of them in a month. This is shake out month for the weak pubs.
ReplyDelete- Discovering a great beer in a micropub, then finding that they never have it on again due do their ever-changing rotation of beers.
ReplyDelete- Smokers in the entrance doorway, which, by pressure difference fills the pub with the smell of fags worse than it ever did when smoking was allowed inside the pub.
- Freezing cold Guinness. No other sort is available in pubs any more.
- Extra fizzy beer and the taste of the propellant gas.
Tasters - or to be more precise and based on my experience yesterday, being stuck at the bar behind a couple of CAMRA nerds who want a taster of all of the beers on offer (6, which amounts to about half a pint of free beer) and stand there and discuss the brewery and taste of the beer while all you want to do IS GET SERVED
ReplyDelete