Saturday, 21 May 2016

Well, I’d certainly leave

Last night, on the local CAMRA “Stagger” of Offerton, in the Emigration Inn, we had probably the worst experience I can remember in thirty years of these events. It really needed the pen of Simon Everitt to do it justice, although I can’t see it featuring in the Good Beer Guide any time soon.

The licensee gave the impression of being somewhat the worse for wear, and called one of the party “a twat”, although I didn't hear this myself. He also referred to called Robinson's Brewery using the same term.

Obviously a sequence of people walking up to the bar and individually ordering halves of bitter might give rise to a bit of gentle joshing, but he seemed to take great exception to this. To each person he said “And what do you want? Oh, a half of bitter!” and then shouted “Roll with it!”

He proceeded to fetch some kind of cellar award plaque out of the back and angrily plonked it on the bar in front of the handpumps. The beer wasn’t much cop either, although I would say not quite as bad as some people judged it.

Otherwise, it was a good, convivial evening. If I lived in Offerton I’d certainly take my custom to the Victoria, Gardener’s Arms or Fingerpost, while steering well clear of the Emigration. According to WhatPub it has a “pleasant and welcoming atmosphere”. I don’t think so!

Edit: This brings to mind an anecdote from another Offerton stagger many years ago. The CAMRA posse were approaching the pub, led by the late Rhys Jones in full cry. One wag sitting outside piped up “Here we go! Save the fucking wallaby!”

18 comments:

  1. On that link

    Seen some incorrect or missing details?
    Send an email to the CAMRA branch with your updates.

    Why don't ask for pleasant and welcoming to have an "un" added?

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Branch Chairman has been informed, and I believe he has passed the report on to Robinsons.

      Delete
    2. Maybe CAMRA ought to also give out a shit pub award in addition to the good pub ones? You could go in and give it to them?

      Delete
    3. I was looking for a beer related website idea, and I think this is it. Shitpubs.org?

      Delete
  2. About two years ago I did a mystery shop on this very pub for Robinsons so your experience comes an no surprise, what is a surprise is that it is still open.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The licensee of one suburban Liverpool pub I was in repeatedly shouted "F*** off!" to his customers at closing time. I did - permanently.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But at least those customers weren't going to order any more beer!

      Delete
  4. I remember going to a pub in the 1970s where the landlord shouted at my mate and I "You're having fucking bitter! If you don't want bitter you can fuck off!" Luckily we wanted bitter. Stayed there for a bit out of morbid curiosity, especially as the pool table was placed directly between the dart board and the oche and people were playing both. Don't think it's there any more.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Reminds me of the time I was doing a charity walk. Eighteen (18) thirsty walkers walked into an empty pub in a tiny hamlet in the Yorkshire Dales. The Landlord was sat down on a stool away from the bar surfing the internet. FFS was the only reply we got as he carried on watching his porn. When eventually the beer arrived we asked about the pies on the menu. His reply was "there are only two left and you are not having them, because they are for my tea" (dinner)...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If eighteen thirsty walkers had asked for eighteen free glasses of tap water then I'd say a licensee could be forgiven for telling them to f*** off!

      Delete
    2. A guy named Robin who's doing a walk for "charity" seemingly taking issue with tea being referred to as such and instead mistakenly insisting on it being dinner - So much wrong in one post.

      Delete
  6. Syd Differential22 May 2016 at 00:27

    I remember a much-loved and busy pub a few years ago was taken over by a prison warden who was unable to differentiate between how he treated the inmates in his day job and the regulars in the evening.
    Within a week I watched as 10 of the regular heavy drinkers in the pub transferred their allegiance to the place across the road and the next brewery delivery was five barrels less than usual.
    He lasted less than six months as the number of kegs delivered gradually diminished.
    The 10 moppers returned immediately and within a month the delivery was back to its previous total.
    I stayed because I do get a perverse pleasure in watching slow-motion car crashes in pubs and enjoyed watching dry economics come alive.
    To this day the screw still doesn't know why he fucked up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There were actually a reasonable number of customers in this pub, although it gave the impression of being a "landlord's mates and cronies" type of place. Also very few women compared with the other pubs.

      Delete
  7. You should be suppurting pubs not criticizing them. No wonder so many are closing if the CAMRA branch cannot promote them. In my branch we always say every pub is wonderful even if it's crap. That because most of them are crap and I only ever drink in the one multi beer house which isn't.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Have you lot still not learned to order in rounds yet? I learned that bit of basic pub etiquette when I was 14.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amongst the party there were a married couple and a father-and-son pair who were buying drinks for each other in turn.

      It's rather difficult to organise buying in rounds when people arrive and depart at different times, and the person drinking halves inevitably feels he's subsidising the person drinking pints. Anyway, feel free to come along to our next event and get us all sorted out!

      Delete
    2. If this branch is anything like my own we have to give the impression of paying for drinks and drinking enough halves to be responsible in public.

      Drinks are procured by announcing that we are CAMRA, here to inspect the beer and the beer is free if you want a good write up.

      If you read between the lines here, this Landlord expected these customers to pay. Quite unacceptable.

      Delete
  9. Anyway, could have been worse - although I doubt whether there's any cask beer (or BrewDog) here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_guDN7IZ0U

    Some good old-style vinyl-covered bench seating as well :-)

    ReplyDelete

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